¨Lying¨
I lie to myself everyday
I would like to think of myself as unique and different
That I don’t care what people think
But that’s just not true
I care about how others perceive me
I want the cute guy in class to think I am beautiful
I want to be the it girl
I want to be liked, envied
Not the shy, idiot
I hate that
It’s funny, I sometimes joke that I have multiple personality disorder
Around my friends I’m outgoing, loud, and even funny
Why can’t I be that way in school?
Instead I can't bear to sit in the front of class
I feel like all eyes are on me
Judging me
I pray once I graduate I will be different
Maybe in college I’ll stop lying to myself
But why can’t I stop now?
Everyday I look at my reflection, in the mirror, and declare:
“Today will you be normal”
Instead, I go to school
Sit in the back of the class, and dream of another identity.
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